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Turning Conflict into Community:
How to Talk to Trump Supporters

Democracy has one last chance—your voice

There’s no getting around it – if we want our democracy to survive, then we need to talk to our Trump-supporting friends and family. We must be the bridge to truth and the path back to reality, guiding them away from Trump and the disinformation that led them to him. They are our friends and family – nobody else can reach them now – it’s up to us.  

Yes, these conversations can be tricky, but they’re important, and the ideas below can help you through them.

We’re diving straight into it, so if you’re a bit unsure, please read “An Argument for Talking with Trump Supporters” for the rationale and motivation behind this effort. In case you choose not to read it, here are the main takeaways: 

  • These “conversations” aren’t about you getting them to declare, ‘OMG, you’re right. How did I not see that?‘. Make these conversations more about reconnecting (if that’s needed) and planting the seeds that let them find their own way back to reality. 
  • Disinformation can capture and change just about anyone – but it can be undone
  • As the pain of Trump’s policies set it in, his supporters will be more receptive than before. It will be easier to show that something is happening than it was to warn that something will happen.
  • Our unwillingness to engage with Trump supporters only strengthens the influence of those who’ve captured them.

If we expect these conversations to save democracy, we need specific goals. Here they are:

  • Help folks see that Trump does not care about them, their family, or our country. He is aggressively aligning us with authoritarian leaders – that will not end well for anybody.
  • Help folks move and stay away from these manipulative and destructive sources of information (Fox News, Joe Rogan, social media, etc.). Disinformation and propaganda are THE reasons we are in this mess. 
  • Help them find better sources of information. While far from perfect, mainstream media doesn’t push blatant lies as does conservative media. Introduce them to your favorite independent journalist(s).
  • Help them see that it’s the billionaires, corporatists, and oligarchs that are our true enemies – not our neighbors and not the vulnerable.

The idea is for folks to reject the toxic voices and the resulting misguided allegiances that are rapidly tearing our society apart. 

We’ve broken this framework into two parts: a foundational mindset to ground you as you approach these conversations, and a hands-on guide to help you navigate them in real time.

Both are built around worst-case scenarios — the hardest conversations, with the most resistance. From there, you can adapt, soften, or personalize the approach to fit the person in front of you.

A Foundational Mindset

It’s easy to slip into debate, correction, or frustration when talking to Trump supporters. But the goal isn’t to win an argument — it’s to help the other person move toward awareness. To support that goal, we offer a simple foundational mindset to help ground your conversations in the three pillars of Empathy, Authenticity, and Fellowship. These aren’t tactics or talking points— they’re ways of being that create a space where understanding can take root. When we stay rooted in this mindset, we resist the pull to lecture or argue and instead offer a grounded, caring presence — one that invites trust and makes reflection possible.  Importantly, the pillars are also models for others, showing how we might relate to one another in a healthier, more humane society. 

Empathy, Authenticity, and Fellowship create the conditions for awareness to take root — that first subtle sense that something isn’t right. From there, through ongoing connection and reflection, that awareness can lead to awakening: a deeper recognition of how we were misled — and by whom — and what might be possible instead. Awakening isn’t just seeing clearly — it’s reclaiming clarity, agency, and direction.

This mindset is meant to adapt — how you use it will vary depending on your relationship with the person, their connection to Trump, and how deeply they’re entangled in right-wing messaging.

Empathy is the emotional anchor.

Empathy keeps you grounded in the reality that this person is not your enemy — even if it feels like you’re on opposite sides. It’s often anxiety, a sense of victimhood, or manipulation that shape people — forces that can touch any of us. Empathy allows us to stay present, even when the conversations get challenging or emotional.

Empathy can be contagious. Your calm, your openness, your refusal to meet anger with anger — that alone can be disarming. Sometimes, the most eye-opening moment isn’t a fact or argument, but simply realizing that someone still cares, even after everything.

Reminders for Practicing Empathy:

  • Empathy doesn’t excuse harmful beliefs — it helps you tolerate difficult conversations.
  • You’re not trying to win — you’re trying to understand.
  • No one listens while they’re being judged.
  • The real fight isn’t with them — it’s with the forces that shaped what they believe.
  • Look for the human behind the beliefs — compassion helps you stay with them.
  • Stay patient — growth is often slow, silent, and invisible at first.

Empathy builds trust, opens hearts, and creates the space where change begins.

Authenticity is the grounding force.

Authenticity is about creating a deeper connection by expressing yourself in a way that is genuine and transparent.
 It keeps your voice real, your tone honest, and your presence human. When you speak from your heart, you create credibility and invite trust — the cornerstone for these conversations. You don’t need to have all the answers — just be steady, real, and rooted in your values.

Reminders for Maintaining Authenticity:

  • Speak from your truth — honesty builds trust, not certainty.
  • You don’t need all the answers — humility helps you listen without needing control.
  • Avoid performance — authenticity lands deeper than polished messaging.
  • Share yourself, not just your position — your vulnerability makes space for theirs.
  • Authenticity invites authenticity — your openness can help others drop their defenses.

Authenticity builds trust, invites openness, and models the kind of society we hope to build.

Fellowship is how we connect and hold the line.

Fellowship is about refusing to give up on each other, even when it’s hard. It’s the choice to stay connected, to walk together, and to remember that our relationships are more powerful than misguided allegiances.

Fellowship is an environment you create — grounded in common purpose and the recognition that we face the same forces working against us. Use it to reframe these conversations from winning an argument to partners in uncovering what’s real.

These are the components you can cultivate to create that environment and give fellowship its strength:

  • Solidarity — Standing with, not above, them.
  • A Journey — Walking together to uncover what’s real — not imposing, but exploring.
  • Unity — Reconnecting around what we both still care about — and remembering we have more in common than we’ve been led to believe.
  • An Alliance — Remembering we have the same enemies.
  • Partnership — Working together to repair the damage that division, fear, and propaganda have done to us and our world.
  • Continuity – Keep showing up and nudging them along- the voices of division are everywhere.
  • Purpose — Grounds us in a reason to push ahead — not just for each other, but for something larger than ourselves.

Fellowship helps us hold the line — together — when others are trying to pull us apart.

A Guide for These Conversations

It’s not realistic to offer step-by-step instructions for every type of relationship. Instead, we provide a flexible guide you can adapt to your own situation. Here’s how it’s structured:

  • General conversation tips (which may also help you decide whom to talk to)
  • Guidance on choosing who to engage with—and who to avoid
  • An approach to the most difficult relationships, which you can adjust based on your own circumstances (hopefully your situation is better than the worst-case!)
  • Suggestions for adapting that approach to other kinds of relationships
  • Additional insights and helpful pointers
  • Simple rewording examples that can help keep conversations calm and constructive

The following guide offers simple, realistic approaches that can help you in these conversations. Use what resonates, skip what doesn’t, and remember: progress happens one moment of understanding at a time.

  • These conversations are typically more about planting seeds that help people come around on their own. 
  • This process could take weeks or months—understanding that upfront will help prevent frustration.
  • Face-to-face is ideal, phone calls can work, and email should be a last resort.
  • One-on-one conversations are usually most effective. If other Trump supporters are present, they’ll reinforce each other. Likewise, if multiple people confront a single Trump supporter, they’ll feel attacked and become defensive.
  • Anticipate their talking points and arguments to prepare your response and visualize how you’ll respond
  • Avoid insults, eye-rolling, or condescension. They’ll notice, it will hurt, and it will stick. This isn’t about giving them an out—it’s a strategic approach to prevent them from digging in their heels.
  • Always show empathy, gratitude, and humility to keep the conversation respectful and productive while lowering their defenses. For hardcore MAGA, it will also be a nice counter to the bitterness and cynicism they’re often exposed to.
  • Back off if things aren’t going well – it’s important to keep these lines of communication open for future conversations.
  • People are driven by emotion, not facts. Use personal stories and experiences – they are more difficult to dismiss than facts.

When considering whom to talk to, start with those who may be more open to meaningful conversations with you. Here are some key groups to focus on:

  • Those you still socialize with regularly
  • Those who were uninformed or non-voters (vs. staunch Trump supporters
  • Those with whom you share memories, values, or other strong emotional bonds
  • Those who have vulnerable loved ones to protect
  • Anyone you know who has shown signs of remorse or who you suspect might be personally impacted by Trump

In some cases, you should tread lightly:

  • Hardcore in-your-face MAGA friends and family
  • Co-workers – depending on your relationship and how far you take these conversations
  • New acquaintances – such as someone you meet at a party, but they can be nudged

And there are those to avoid completely – no exceptions:

  • Anyone who has ever threatened you or talked to you with an intimidating tone.
  • Anyone on social media – they’re only there to pick a fight, and they will drain your energy. Block them or otherwise totally disengage

There’s plenty of variability to the above. Who you choose to engage with and with what frequency and intensity will depend on your relationship with them and their relationship with Trump. Pick the low-hanging fruit first.

Let’s use the example of a staunch Trump supporter you’ve grown distant from and your relationship was once solid. As you read along, consider how this might apply to the Trump voter(s) in your life and how these conversations could unfold. Remember, you don’t have to rescue them outright – take these conversations as far as you feel comfortable. Keep these points in mind:

  • Remember that Trump and MAGA (disingenuously) offer many a sense of acceptance and camaraderie, making it hard for his faithful to leave.
  • Continually show that family and friendship matter more than political allegiance and that they’ll always be welcome back.
  • If they start doubting their loyalty to Trump, knowing they have people who care about them will make it easier for them to walk away.

Start by reaffirming your relationship with them:

  • Find a reason to reach out or check in.
  • Your first goal is simply to reconnect—quietly giving them a lifeline to reality.
  • Try to avoid politics entirely—even subtle hints—unless they bring up their buyer’s remorse.
  • Focus on shared history, family, mutual interests, or lighthearted topics.
  • Continue reinforcing – even after the conversations advance

Let politics slowly drift into later conversations

  • Without mentioning Trump, gently touch on his polices (or their consequences) that impact them, you, or the community.
  • Don’t force things into the conversation, slide them when appropriate. Examples include: retirement concerns, your insulin costs, local layoffs or work stoppages, etc.
  • Stay in this mode until you (hopefully) see them thinking more about what’s truly going on in the world and about those they believed.

As the conversations become more complex

  • The overall theme here should not be “you’re an idiot”, but “they lied to you and took advantage of you”. Remember, we want them to recognize and reject the voices in their bubble.
  • Avoid lecturing, finger-pointing, and sarcasm – this will make them dig in their heels.
  • Keep it light – there should be plenty of smiles, laughs, and agreement. Don’t let politics dominate any of these conversations. The idea here is to keep the door open to further conversations
  • Understand their concerns so well that you can explain them back better than they explained them to you. This shows respect – something many may feel they’ve been lacking for years.
  • Encourage them, in a genuine manner, to explain their views. In some cases, their attempts to articulate misguided beliefs will reveal the flaws in their thinking. Let them struggle to answer for a bit, but then move on to something non-political to give them an out.
  • Offer different perspectives on their concerns. An important underlying perspective is that all of their concerns combined aren’t worth losing our democracy over.
  • If they don’t come up, you know they’re not triggers, and you know your stuff, then gently mention issues that will impact them: climate change, social security, healthcare, continued tax breaks for billionaires and corporations, national security, global stability, a foreign billionaire and young adults sifting through our personal and financial data, etc.
  • Don’t always make these discussions about politics – keep cycling back to common ground

Hopefully, you’re not facing the worst-case scenario described above. This section offers a few simple adjustments for different types of relationships, helping you refine your overall approach.

Your immediate family:

    • Use your long history to guide these conversations.
    • You should be able to predict how much of these conversations will go – visualize and rehearse them.
    • The idea of only having one-on-one conversations may apply less here
    • Depending on your family dynamics, it might be okay to have stern talks – but avoid pushing buttons.
    • Point out how specific individuals in or close to your family will be hurt by Trump’s policies.
    • Here’s a deeper dive into family dynamics and politics

People impacted by Trump’s policies:

  • Reach out to them – let them know you’re thinking about them
  • Instead of doing the “I told you so” thing, sit down and listen to their problem and maybe even help them figure out a solution. 
  • Help them identify and move away from those who were hiding the truth from them all this time
  • This can be frustrating for you if they only now care about Trump’s disregard for others. Use it as a lesson about love vs. allegiance and about living in a society built on respect and mutual support.

Trump supporters you regularly socialize with, but politics are politely or conveniently ignored.

  • In these cases, they could be humiliated, wavering, or happy about Trump’s America.
  • You might be able to ask them where they stand, but trying to gauge them by using adjacent issues might be a safer approach.
  • Where they stand will drive these conversations
  • Depending on your relationship, there could be some good-natured ribbing – but done in an empathetic and educational manner

Uninformed, apathetic, and non-voters

  • See immediately above
  • If things devolve into a back-and-forth argument, agree to give each person 5 minutes to explain without interruption. Or agree to this upfront.
  • When things aren’t going well, then back off. Don’t get flustered and storm off – try again another day or forget about this one. Never cut anyone out of your life – they need at least one connection to reality – no matter how frail.
  • If they push your buttons, just laugh at yourself or maybe even agree with them – it will catch them off guard.
  • Make no mention or hint of someone being brainwashed or needing to be reprogrammed – this is exceedingly insulting.
  • No matter who you engage with, always show and practice gratitude and humility – these are the building blocks of happiness and peace of mind.
  • Keep showing them that an exit ramp exists – let them know your door will always be open to them.
  • Learn as you go, research their issues, and circle back on those topics as you slowly move them forward.
  • In some cases, don’t make it about Trump or his policies. Make it about the billionaire class vs everyone else – make it about saving Democracy. 
  • Many have been convinced that an “inclusive society” will somehow exclude them, so avoid those conversations – at least early on. 
  • Conservatives often crave “the good old days” – agree with them and mention how much you miss a government that is not owned by billionaires and corporate America
  • A stern reality check is sometimes appropriate. For example, point to someone in their life who will be harmed by Trump’s authoritarian policies.

The above probably sounds easier said than done. It 

It’s best to start a counterpoint with an agreement (the Fellowship pillar) – it validates them (the Trust pillar) while demonstrating that an evolved understanding is possible:

  • That’s a great point – I’m also thinking that…
  • I was wondering about that a while back also – then I realized that…
  • I was totally on board with that a couple of years ago – now I…
  • You’re spot-on there – I’m just worried that…
  • I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said last week… The part I can’t figure out is…
  • I know I don’t have all the facts on this… What have you heard?

It can be easy to unintentionally insult someone who’s already in a defensive mindset. It might be worth practicing a bit.

Replace “What you don’t understand is…” with “I can’t believe they lied to us about…”.

Replace “Wait, you didn’t hear about…?” with “I was totally shocked when I learned that…“.

Replace “How did you not know this?” with “There’s just so much noise out there – it’s hard to keep up“

Don’t think your small actions won’t make a difference – they absolutely will, because, just like the efforts to destroy our democracy, when it comes to saving it, the whole is certainly greater than the sum of the parts.