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How to Talk with Your
Trump-Supporting Friends and family

Democracy has one last chance—your voice

There’s no getting around it – if we want our democracy to survive, then we need to talk to our Trump-supporting friends and family. We must be their path back to reality, guiding them away from Trump and the disinformation that led them to him. They are our friends and family – nobody else can reach them now – it’s up to us.  

Yes, these conversations can be tricky, but they’re important – and the ideas below can help you through them.

We’re diving straight into it, so if you’re a bit unsure, please read “An Argument for Talking with Trump Supporters” for the rationale and motivation behind this effort. In case you choose not to read it, here are the main takeaways: 

  • These “conversations” aren’t about you getting them to declare, ‘OMG, you’re right. How did I not see that?‘. Make these conversations more about reconnecting (if needed) and planting the seeds that let them find their own way back to reality. 
  • Disinformation can capture and change just about anyone, but it can be undone
  • As the pain of Trump’s policies sets in, his supporters will be more receptive than before. It will be easier to show that something is happening than it was to warn that something will happen.
  • Our unwillingness to engage with Trump supporters only strengthens the influence of those who’ve captured them.

If we expect these conversations to save democracy, we need specific goals. Here they are:

  • Help folks see that Trump doesn’t care about them, their family, or our country. He is aggressively aligning us with authoritarian leaders, and that will not end well for anybody.
  • Help them move and stay away from these manipulative and destructive sources of information (Fox News, Joe Rogan, social media, etc.). Disinformation and propaganda are THE reasons we are in this mess. 
  • Help them find better sources of information. While far from perfect, mainstream media doesn’t push blatant lies as does conservative media. Introduce them to your favorite independent journalist(s).
  • Help them see that it’s the billionaires, corporatists, and oligarchs that are our true enemies, not our neighbors and not the vulnerable.

It is critical that we get folks to reject the toxic voices and the resulting misguided allegiances that are rapidly tearing our society apart. 

We’ve broken this guide into two parts: a foundational mindset to ground you as you approach these conversations and a hands-on guide to help you navigate them in real time.

Both are built around worst-case scenarios — the hardest conversations, with the most resistance. From there, you can adapt, soften, or personalize the approach to fit the person in front of you.

A Foundational Mindset

It’s easy to slip into debate, correction, or frustration when talking to Trump supporters. But the goal isn’t to win an argument — it’s to help the other person move toward awareness. To support that goal, we offer a simple foundational mindset to help ground your conversations in the three pillars of Empathy, Authenticity, and Fellowship. These aren’t tactics or talking points— they’re ways of being that create a space where understanding can take root. When we stay rooted in this mindset, we resist the pull to lecture or argue and instead offer a grounded, caring presence — one that invites trust and makes reflection possible.  Importantly, the pillars are also models for those we talk to, showing how we might relate to one another in a healthier, more humane society. 

Empathy, Authenticity, and Fellowship create the conditions for awareness to take root — that first subtle sense that something isn’t right. From there, through ongoing connection and reflection, that awareness can lead to awakening: a deeper recognition of how we were misled — and by whom — and what might be possible instead. Awakening isn’t just seeing clearly — it’s reclaiming clarity, agency, and direction.

This mindset is meant to adapt, and how you use it will vary depending on your relationship with the person, their connection to Trump, and how deeply they’re entangled in right-wing messaging.

Empathy is the emotional anchor.

Empathy keeps you grounded in the reality that this person is not your enemy—even if it feels like you’re on opposite sides. Anxiety, a sense of victimhood, or manipulation often shape people—it’s important to remember that these forces can touch any of us. Empathy allows us to stay centered, even when the conversations get challenging or emotional.

Empathy can be contagious. Your calm, your openness, and your refusal to meet anger with anger — these alone can be disarming. Sometimes, the most eye-opening moment isn’t a fact or argument but simply realizing that someone still cares, even after everything.

Reminders for Practicing Empathy:

  • Empathy doesn’t excuse harmful beliefs — it helps you tolerate difficult conversations.
  • You’re not trying to win — you’re trying to understand.
  • No one listens while they’re being judged.
  • The real fight isn’t with them — it’s with the forces that shaped what they believe.
  • Look for the human behind the beliefs — compassion helps you stay with them.
  • Stay patient — growth is often slow, silent, and invisible at first.

Empathy builds trust, opens hearts, and creates the space where change begins.

Authenticity is the grounding force.

Authenticity is about creating a deeper connection by expressing yourself in a way that is genuine and transparent.
 It keeps your voice real, your tone honest, and your presence human. When you speak from your heart, you create credibility and invite trust — the cornerstone for these conversations. 

Reminders for Maintaining Authenticity:

  • Speak from your truth — honesty builds trust, not certainty.
  • You don’t need all the answers — humility helps you listen without needing control.
  • Avoid performance — authenticity lands deeper than polished messaging.
  • Share yourself, not just your position — your vulnerability makes space for theirs.
  • Authenticity invites authenticity — your openness can help others drop their defenses.

Authenticity builds trust, invites openness, and models the kind of society we hope to build.

Fellowship is how we connect and hold the line.

Fellowship is about refusing to give up on each other, even when it’s hard. It’s the choice to stay connected, to walk together, and to remember that our relationships are more powerful than misguided allegiances.

Fellowship is an environment you create — grounded in common purpose and the recognition that we face the same forces working against us. Use it to reframe these conversations from winning an argument to partners in uncovering what’s real.

These are the components you can cultivate to create that environment and give fellowship its strength:

  • Solidarity — Standing with, not above, them.
  • A Journey — Walking together to uncover what’s real — not imposing, but exploring.
  • Unity — Reconnecting around what we both still care about and remembering we have more in common than we’ve been led to believe.
  • An Alliance — Remembering we have the same enemies.
  • Partnership — Working together to repair the damage that division, fear, and propaganda have done to us and our world.
  • Continuity – Keep showing up and nudging them along- the voices of division are everywhere.
  • Purpose — Grounds us in a reason to push ahead — not just for each other but for something larger than ourselves.

Fellowship helps us hold the line — together — when others are trying to pull us apart, and it will carry us beyond these conversations.

A Guide for These Conversations

It’s not realistic to offer step-by-step instructions for every type of relationship. Instead, we provide a flexible guide you can adapt to your own situation. Here’s how it’s structured:

  • General conversation tips (which may also help you decide whom to talk to)
  • Guidance on choosing who to engage with—and who to avoid
  • An approach to the most difficult relationships, which you can adjust based on your own circumstances (hopefully your situation is better than the worst-case!)
  • Suggestions for adapting that approach to other kinds of relationships
  • Additional insights and helpful pointers
  • Simple rewording examples that can help keep conversations calm and constructive

The following guide offers simple, realistic approaches that can help you in these conversations. Use what resonates, skip what doesn’t, and remember: progress happens one moment of understanding at a time.

  • These conversations are typically more about planting seeds that help people come around on their own. 
  • This process could take weeks or months—understanding that upfront will help prevent frustration. Keep engaging.
  • Prepare for these conversations – think of who you’re going to talk to, how things might go, and the views they might hold. Visualize how you will act positively
  • How you enter a conversation (what you say and do) matters – don’t start with attacking or fact-checking, etc. That will ruin the environment for the conversation.
  • Negativity lands harder, lasts longer, and shapes more. Speak gently and positively — it sticks.
  • One-on-one conversations are usually most effective. If other Trump supporters are present, they’ll reinforce each other. Likewise, if multiple people confront a single Trump supporter, they’ll feel attacked and become defensive.
  • Face-to-face is ideal, phone calls can work, and email is a last resort.
  • Face-to-face is effective, but side-by-side is better. Go for a walk together – it suggests fellowship, not confrontation.
  • Avoid insults, eye-rolling, or condescension. They’ll notice, it will hurt, and it will stick. This isn’t about giving them an out—it’s a strategic approach to prevent them from digging in their heels and keeping things respectful and productive.
  • Back off if things aren’t going well – it’s important to keep these lines of communication open for future conversations.
  • People are driven by emotion, not facts. Use personal stories and experiences – they are more difficult to dismiss than facts.

ssWhen considering whom to talk to, start with those who may be more open to meaningful conversations with you. Here are some key groups to focus on:

  • Those you still socialize with regularly
  • Those who were uninformed or non-voters (vs. staunch Trump supporters
  • Those with whom you share memories, values, or other strong emotional bonds
  • Those who have vulnerable loved ones to protect
  • Anyone you know who has shown signs of remorse or who you suspect might be personally impacted by Trump

In some cases, you should tread lightly:

  • Hardcore in-your-face MAGA friends and family
  • Co-workers – depending on your relationship and how far you take these conversations
  • New acquaintances – such as someone you meet at a party, but they can be nudged

And there are those to avoid altogether – no exceptions:

  • Anyone who has ever threatened you or talked to you in an intimidating tone.
  • Anyone on social media – they’re only there to pick a fight, and they will drain your energy. Block them or otherwise totally disengage

There’s plenty of variability to the above. Who you choose to engage with and with what frequency and intensity will depend on your relationship with them and their relationship with Trump. Pick the low-hanging fruit first.

Let’s use the example of a staunch Trump supporter you’ve grown distant from, and your relationship was once solid. As you read along, consider how this might apply to the Trump voter(s) in your life and how these conversations could unfold. Remember, you don’t have to rescue them outright – take these conversations as far as you feel comfortable. Keep these points in mind:

  • Remember that Trump and MAGA (disingenuously) offer many a sense of acceptance and camaraderie, making it hard for his faithful to leave.
  • Continually show that family and friendship matter more than political allegiance and that they’ll always be welcome back.
  • If they start doubting their loyalty to Trump, knowing they have people who care about them will make it easier for them to walk away.

Start by reaffirming your relationship with them:

  • Find a reason to reach out or check in.
  • Your first goal is simply to reconnect—quietly giving them a lifeline to reality.
  • Try to avoid politics entirely—even subtle hints—unless they bring up their buyer’s remorse.
  • Focus on shared history, family, mutual interests, or lighthearted topics.
  • Continue reinforcing – even after these conversations advance

Let politics slowly drift into later conversations

  • Without mentioning Trump, gently touch on his polices (or their consequences) that impact them, you, or the community.
  • Don’t force things into the conversation; slide them when appropriate. Examples include retirement concerns, your insulin costs, local layoffs or work stoppages, etc.
  • If their concerns extend beyond the immediate, include those as well—topics like the economy, pandemics and national health, war and global stability, climate and climate disasters, etc.
  • Stay in this mode until you (hopefully) see them thinking more about what’s truly going on in the world and about those they believe.

As the conversations become more complex

  • The overall theme here should not be “you’re an idiot”, but “they lied to you and took advantage of you”. Remember, we want them to recognize and reject the voices in their bubble.
  • Avoid lecturing, finger-pointing, and sarcasm – this will make them dig in their heels.
  • Keep it light – there should be plenty of smiles, laughs, and agreement. Don’t let politics dominate any of these conversations. The idea here is to keep the door open to further conversations
  • Understand their concerns so well that you can explain them back better than they explained them to you. This shows respect – something many may feel they’ve been lacking for years.
  • Encourage them, in a genuine manner, to explain their views. In some cases, their attempts to articulate misguided beliefs will reveal the flaws in their thinking. Let them struggle to answer for a bit – the silence is more effective than an argument.
  • Offer different perspectives on their concerns. An important underlying perspective is that all of their concerns combined aren’t worth losing our democracy over.
  • If they don’t come up, you know they’re not triggers, and you know your stuff, then gently mention issues that will impact them: climate change, social security, healthcare, continued tax breaks for billionaires and corporations, national security, global stability, a foreign billionaire and young adults sifting through our personal and financial data, etc.
  • Don’t always make these discussions about politics – keep cycling back to common ground

Hopefully, you’re not facing the worst-case scenario described above. This section offers a few simple adjustments for different types of relationships, helping you refine your overall approach.

Your immediate family:

    • Use your long history to guide these conversations.
    • You should be able to predict how these conversations will go – visualize and rehearse them.
    • The idea of only having one-on-one conversations may apply less here
    • Depending on your family dynamics, it might be okay to have stern talks – but avoid pushing buttons.
    • Point out how specific individuals in or close to your family will be hurt by Trump’s policies.
    • Here’s a deeper dive into family dynamics and politics

People impacted by Trump’s policies:

  • Reach out to them – let them know you’re thinking about them
  • Instead of doing the “I told you so” thing, sit down and listen to their problem and maybe even help them figure out a solution. 
  • Help them identify and move away from those who were hiding the truth from them all this time
  • This can be frustrating for you if they only now care about Trump’s disregard for others. Use it as a lesson about love vs. allegiance and about living in a society built on respect and mutual support.

Trump supporters you regularly socialize with, but politics are politely or conveniently ignored.

  • In these cases, they could be humiliated, wavering, or happy about Trump’s America.
  • You might be able to ask them where they stand, but simply trying to gauge them might be a safer approach.
  • Where they stand will drive these conversations
  • Depending on your relationship, there could be some good-natured ribbing, but done in an empathetic and educational manner

Uninformed, apathetic, and non-voters

  • See immediately above
  • If things devolve into a back-and-forth argument, agree to give each person 5 minutes to explain without interruption. Or agree to this upfront.
  • When things aren’t going well, then back off. Don’t get flustered and storm off – try again another day or forget about this one. Never cut anyone out of your life – they need at least one connection to reality, no matter how frail.
  • If they push your buttons, just laugh at yourself or maybe even agree with them – it will catch them off guard.
  • Make no mention or hint of someone being brainwashed, living in a cult, or needing to be reprogrammed – this is exceedingly insulting.
  • Keep showing them that an exit ramp exists – let them know your door will always be open to them.
  • Learn about them as you go, research their issues, and circle back on those topics in later conversations.
  • It might be better not to make it about Trump or his policies. Make it about the billionaire class vs everyone else – make it about saving Democracy. 
  • Many have been convinced that an “inclusive society” will somehow exclude them, so avoid those conversations – at least early on. 
  • Conservatives often crave “the good old days” – agree with them and mention how much you miss a government that is not owned by billionaires and corporate America
  • A stern reality check is sometimes appropriate. For example, point to someone in their life who will be harmed by Trump’s authoritarian policies.

We’re the first to admit it – talking to Trump supporters is the ultimate “easier said than done”. It’s more art than science, requiring practice and a bit of creativity. It won’t be perfect, but you will learn. Here are examples, – touching on  empathy, authenticity, and fellowship – to help you adjust your approach.

Use simple stories to humanize issues. stories don’t demand agreement and they take away the pundit talking points:

  • Instead of “Well, I think the government should play a role in our lives,” try something like: “My uncle worked two jobs and still couldn’t afford his insulin… that’s when he started paying attention to drug pricing reform.”
  • “I grew up out in the sticks – it was a poor area of the country, but we always had each other’s back – that’s something I’ll never let go of”

Give them permission to doubt without losing face – maybe even show own your journey through doubt:

  • “Honestly, I’ve felt torn about some of this too. But I keep going back to what actually helps people.”
  • When I find myself thinking “I don’t know”, that’s my signal to dig in and learn.”
  • I know I don’t have all the facts on this… What have you heard?

Help them see that caring, questioning, or changing is consistent with their values—not a betrayal of their loyalties:

  • “Sometimes I think we’ve got more in common than the people at the top want us to believe.”
  • “I used to like the idea of ‘shaking things up’ – but over time, I began to figure out who’s actually benefiting from all this.”
  • “I have to be honest with you, I just don’t think corporatists, foreign oligarchs, Christian Nationalists, and Authoritarians are in this for us”

Create cognitive dissonance by challenging their conflicting stances. As they think, let the silence settle in –  it’s often more effective than any argument.

  • “Give me a sec, I’m just trying to understand how that aligns with what you said earlier?”
  • “I know you’re really family-oriented, so I was surprised you were okay with that policy.”
  • “You’ve always hated money in politics. This looks a lot like corruption to me—doesn’t it to you?”

It’s often best to start a counterpoint with an agreement:

  • You’re spot-on there – I’m just worried that…
  • I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said last week… The part I can’t figure out is…

It’s easy to unintentionally insult someone who is already in a defensive mindset. It might be worth practicing a bit.

  • Replace “What you don’t understand is…” with “I can’t believe they lied to us about…”.
  • Replace “Wait, you didn’t hear about…?” with “I was totally shocked when I learned …“.
  • Replace “How did you not know this?” with “There’s just so much noise out there – it’s hard to keep up.“

Depending on your relationship them, a more direct approach may also be suitable:

  • Trump wasn’t for the people—he was in bed with the same rich folks who’ve been buying off politicians for years, shipping jobs overseas, and gutting the middle class.
  • He made a big show of fighting for us, but behind the scenes, he was cutting deals with the very people who’ve been draining the country dry for decades. The system’s rigged, yeah, but he just made it worse.
  • He didn’t care about facts—he cared about followers. Lies were his weapon, and loyalty was his goal.
  • They didn’t want to inform anyone. They just flooded the airwaves with noise, hoping you’d give up on the truth and let them do the thinking for you.

We hope you pictured yourself holding these conversations as you read through the above. You know your friends and family best; use your instincts, make a plan, and reach out.

Don’t think your small actions won’t make a difference – they absolutely will, because, just like the efforts to destroy our democracy, when it comes to saving it, the whole is certainly greater than the sum of the parts.

“Nobody makes a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little.” – Edmund Burke